Missouri Hemp History Week Celebration Mysteriously Disappears

By: Cecil King   

Missouri Hemp History Week Celebration Mysteriously Disappears

Missouri hemp enthusiasts across the state have anticipated joining the huge 7th Annual Hemp History Week celebration, June 6 – 11, 2016, with a brand-new hemp bill.

The Hemp Industries Association and Vote Hemp, two non-profit groups dedicated to building strong support for industrial hemp farming in the United States, organized the nationwide, week-long celebration.

The theme of the 2016 national campaign was “Grow Our Future,” focusing on how industrial hemp farming and hemp products can lead us to healthier lifestyles, regenerative agriculture systems, and advancements in green technology.

The President and Congress gave the states a green light to start growing test plots of hemp on February 7, 2014, with the 2014 Farm Bill. State legislatures must authorize their hemp programs under the act.

Earlier this year, growing hemp in Missouri looked like a real possibility. Missouri hemp enthusiasts were cheering on another hemp bill successfully navigating through the Missouri legislature.

Visionary representative Paul Curtman (R) had introduced HB 2038 allowing Missourians to once again grow, harvest, and cultivate industrial hemp when licensed by the state’s Department of Agriculture for research.

HB 2038 passed the House on 4/11/16 and headed to the Senate. The bill emerged from the Senate Agriculture, Food Production, and Outdoor Resources committee with a “DO PASS” recommendation.

However, on May 4th a mysterious dark shadow suddenly appeared across Missouri. Sky watchers, astronomers and astrophysicists couldn’t detect anything unusual. No unexpected solar eclipses or huge asteroids were blocking out the sun. Yet, there were reports of physical objects suddenly disappearing off the face of the earth.

The darkness seemed to emanate not from the heavens, but from one specific place practically in the geographic center of the state. Deep within an enclosed chamber filled with at least 34 people one lone person raised his hand and spoke a single phrase only those in attendance could understand.

In an instant, HB 2038 disappeared. Missouri’s best chance at allowing industrial hemp vanished in the blink of an eye.

Witnesses later reported they may have heard the phrase, “move to place HB 2038 on the Informal Calendar,” and then they observed something like a space vortex or black hole swallow the bill.

Maybe HB 2038 was transported to another space/time continuum? Or, maybe it was shot through a wormhole portal to another part of the galaxy, like in the popular sci-fi show Stargate.

Analysis by experts familiar with the event say there is nothing to worry about. They say that legislators will routinely place bills on the “Informal Calendar” when they don’t know what to do with them. Sometimes the Senator who moves to place a bill on the informal calendar already has his own similar bill being considered before the chamber.

However, experts do concede that the term “Informal Calendar” is a place similar to what astrophysicist Stephen Hawking describes as a “black hole” where matter goes in, but never comes out.

HB 2038 simply went to the same place your car keys, favorite gloves or sunglasses go when you lose them. Eventually, you might get them back from the void as if they never left. Last year’s hemp bill, HB 830, is still on the informal calendar and it could suddenly reappear too.

Hopefully, by 2017, Missourians will find their lost hemp bills and at least one of them can avoid that informal calendar black hole at the state capitol to become law.